For so many, this has been an intense time, whether it is around cultural changes and challenges and/or personal hardship and loss. Life on Life’s terms asks you and I to accept the inevitability of struggle and pain. But what I see, and offer to you, is that we have not been asked to suffer unnecessarily. To be troubled in troubled times, yes, but not down for the count. The meaning of endurance is the ability to withstand hardship or adversity. As we find ourselves at an inflection point, this or any other significant moment in our lives, I propose we take our endurance to the next level. That we integrate practices and ways of being that help us feel grounded, resilient and expansive right in the eye of the hurricane. Captured in what I like to call “The Three E’s”, I encourage you to explore each and make it your own.
The first E is Emote. It is so easy to shut down when the going gets tough and forget that our bodies are holding the emotional impact of what is happening, even when we try to ignore it. In this practice, I am not speaking about the expression of our emotions with others but rather feeling them internally first. It is to feel emotions within as uninterrupted waves in our body that last seconds to minutes. Waves, however steep and long, that ultimately have a beginning, middle and end. Why does this matter? As we know them to be transitory, they are easier to befriend. And most importantly, without befriending our emotions and instead, repressing them, we are burdened. That burden affects our health, mental health, relationships and ultimately our resilience. And in troubled times, resilience is key.
But to feel the feels, as they say, when life is intense and painful, is a hero’s journey. Intense times create intense feelings. I believe, however, that the journey is well worth taking. Incredible gifts come in doing so. First, we aren’t as likely to get depressed, since we are not shutting down what we feel. Additionally, we have much greater access to emotions such as joy, love, awe and contentment when we are willing to feel our anger, fear and sadness. We are also making good on the intention to live an authentic life as we keep ourselves emotionally honest inside. And perhaps the biggest gift of all is that in feeling our emotions fully, we can then be in touch with what they need. Your sadness needing comfort while your fear needing safety, your anger needing repair while your joy wants to be shared. Putting this into practice is simply to allow emotions to move through your body, like a storm that will pass, without trying to figure out what you are feeling and why. When we do this, emotions dissipate as insights and clarity can drop like low hanging fruit.
The second E is Engage. Though tempting to do, times of difficulty are not the time to be passive. You and I might have to dig deep to find the energy and motivation to engage but it is hugely important. Most significant is that it prevents the feeling of helplessness. And depending on what and with whom we engage, we might also undo a sense of aloneness. Feeling helpless and alone in our struggles only adds to our pain, unnecessarily so.
As you engage, do your best to choose that which is the most impactful and meaningful to you. It could be stronger or different self-care practices. It could be a new community or showing up differently in your current one. It could be social action that feels like it truly makes a difference in the world. Some of us, however, are at a loss for what to engage in. This is so normal when what we are contending with is big. If this is you, imagine inviting your creativity to the table. Think of your creativity as your new best friend, and a part of you rather than only an activity, such as taking a pottery class or pulling out a sketch pad. Our creativity is like our intuition. It can see something that our thinking mind cannot…what isn’t visible to us. Yet. Too often if we don’t think of ourselves as a “creative” or an artist, we don’t tap into this aspect of our humanity that can be a such a resource at times when we feel stuck. To get creative is not a “think your way through it” process. As it turns out, our creativity happens best when we don’t have all the answers.
So how do we do this? We make space in our inner world for something to bubble up. When it does, in its earliest form, we don’t let the nay sayer within take over. And we don’t sweat the details. We just give what comes up some breathing room. No idea or vision is too big, complicated or silly. To put this into an even more concrete practice, imagine taking some time, once or twice a week, to be in your inner world without distraction. Not for hours but for a good 15 minutes or so of sitting time. Invite your creativity to speak to you, with reassurances that you won’t judge or resist. And then you wait, patiently and perhaps even uncomfortably, for something to arise. And if nothing “happens”, you sit again, trusting the process. If you won’t or can’t take the time to sit, your creativity can still talk to you. Just be reachable so that when it speaks, you listen.
The third E is Experience. We will certainly lose our way if we stop experiencing life from moment to moment. That is true in the good times and the bad. The question to ask yourself is “Am I experiencing life or just doing it?” “Am I present in the moment as I move through time and space or am I on auto pilot, some or all of the time?”. When you and I practice mindfulness, and begin to live more fully in the moment, life feels different. What’s hard gets smaller and what’s good gets bigger. The beauty of life is not lost to us. And what could be more important than feeling goodness and beauty at times of struggle.
Putting all of this together, my greatest wish is that you find yourself feeling expansive, hopeful, energized and maybe even a bit more purposed in adversity. That you discover untapped capacities, redefining endurance as you nourish and protect your precious health and happiness.
I want to share with you a creative idea that came to me through the very process I have described to you around engagement. It definitely took patience and trust to wait to get clear. It is called The Elysian Project, an initiative based on the interconnectedness of our own well-being with the well-being of the planet. For those who participate, half of the proceeds from personal work will be donated to one of six organizations dedicated to protecting the environment. I will be launching this month, in April, as the month especially dedicated to our beloved planet Earth. Listed below are the organizations chosen.
The Sierra Club: www.sierraclub.org
The Sierra Club is the most enduring and influential grassroots environmental organization in the United States. We amplify the power of our millions of members and supporters to defend everyone’s right to a healthy world.
Earth Justice: www.earthjustice.org
Earthjustice is the premier nonprofit public interest environmental law organization. We wield the power of law and the strength of partnership to protect people’s health, to preserve magnificent places and wildlife, to advance clean energy, and to combat climate change. We are here because the earth needs a good lawyer.
Natural Resources Defense Council: www.nrdc.org
NRDC uses science, policy, law, and people power to confront the climate crisis, protect public health, and safeguard nature.
Coral Reef Restoration: www.costaricacoralrestoration.com
Our mission is to restore coral reefs in Costa Rica through scientific research and education.
Alturas Wildlife Sanctuary: www.alturaswildlifesanctuary.org
Alturas Wildlife Sanctuary is funded solely by donations, our tours, and our volunteer program. 100% of your funds will go to ensuring the good health and safety of the animals in our care.
World Wildlife Fund: www.worldwildlife.org
WWF works to sustain the natural world for the benefit of people and wildlife, collaborating with partners from local to global levels in nearly 100 countries.
To be part of this powerful initiative in making a real difference, not only for yourself but for the planet in which you inhabit, contact Katherine Jansen-Byrkit at (503) 267-6049.