What a time we are living in as the world responds and contends with COVID-19! So many are impacted in the following ways….
- A significant increase in anxiety due to the uncertainty of what is happening, when it will end, and what will be the ultimate impact, even for those who still have a job and do not have the virus;
- Grief for the losses that have occurred as well as the anticipated potential losses to come, be those losses financial, relational or even the loss of “normal” life and the structures and routines of our life that keep us feeling held and safe;
- Challenging relationship dynamics as many if not most of us are sheltering in and thus have much more time and proximity to those we live with.
I want to share my thoughts and suggestions around navigating this pandemic protecting your emotional health as well as pose a question or two a day and offer insights, resources, ideas, practices and stories from the field.
Emotional Health
I encourage you to focus on your emotional health as much as you physical health. If you already know what that looks like for you, double down on each and all of what keeps you emotionally well. And it you don’t, perhaps now is the time to dive in and really sort that out. Emotional health is about taking care of your heart and soul. Movement, music, meditation, nature, finding purpose and meaning in what is happening are all powerful aspects of self-care. And of course staying healthy emotionally means getting reliable information that can quell fear and anxiety as it offers a sense of what we can each do to protect ourselves and others, which is far, far better than feeling helpless. It is also critically important to stay connected to others, and though many of us are missing the in-person contact we have so loved, connecting virtually or on the phone can go a long way to offer connection and solace. We are social creatures, even those of us that also need solitude everyday.
So many ideas have been circulating for staying connected and engaged with others. Here are my three top ones:
- Consider virtual meet ups with coffee/tea, book clubs, dance party and/or movie watching together;
- Write a card or letter a day. This give you the wonderful experience of handwriting your thoughts, feelings and sentiments as well as offers the recipient the fantastic and somewhat rare experience of getting something special in the mail. I suggest doing all sorts of letters, such as a letter of gratitude, a love letter or a letter of amends;
- Reach out by phone once or twice a day and choose someone you haven’t talked to for a while, spend longer on the phone as go deeper…really practice vulnerability and authenticity. Wouldn’t it be amazing if on the other side of this pandemic, your relationships are stronger and deeper?
Questions with insights, ideas and practices to consider….
Today’s question:
What’s the best way to deal with uncertainty?
Part of living a human life is living with uncertainty, though most of us live in the illusion of control and predictability. With COVID-19, now there is much more uncertainty to deal with than usual. So what that means is two fold; First, establish where in your life you can feel solid ground underneath you, such as touching in to all that HASN’T changed. Perhaps that means taking in the spring flowers blossoming everywhere and the predictability of nature or enjoying familiar activities, routines and practices. In my work, I offer mindfulness as a starting place before our session gets going. These last two weeks is has been comforting for my clients and myself to start the way we always start, hear the familiar words and experience once again the powerful impact of our mindfulness moment. Next, imagine changing your relationship to uncertainty and replacing fear with trust. Just because you don’t know what is going to happen does not necessarily mean it is bad. What is unknown is potentially NOT a threat. If can be helpful to remember times where you experienced uncertainty and everything worked out fine, and perhaps even great.
Do know that uncertainty is hard for the human psyche, so give yourself some grace around feeling “off” when you are feeling uncertain. Remember that it is normal to feel the way you do and as you practice finding solid ground while changing your relationship to uncertainty, offering yourself compassion goes a far distance in working with it.
Questions to explore over the next few days…..
- How does structure and routine protect my well-being?
- How much news is too much news…and how do I know?
- When I experience regret, how do I work with it?
- Is there a way to see this pandemic from a spiritual perspective or is that just avoiding my feelings and what is hard?
- What are the opportunities embedded in contending with COVID-19?
- What’s the most important 3 relationship practices during this time?
- In taking a break from “normal” life, how can I explore the possibility of not going back to all of what existed before?