While some, if not all of us are dealing with hardship during this pandemic, there are powerful possibilities too. It is never to deny what is challenging for yourself or for another, rather it is to allow two things to be true at the same time; challenges and opportunities. So the questions today that I am focused on are:
- What are the opportunities embedded in contending with COVID-19?
- What’s the most important 3 relationship practices during this time?
There are many kinds of opportunities….physical, relational and emotion as well as spiritual. I will take one from each category to explore. The physical opportunity is to deepen your commitment to physical health, especially at a time when gyms are not open and one has to rely on self-discipline in order to exercise. It is also a time to watch closely over-drinking and eating as they can so negativity affect our quality of life, with increased anxiety, lack of sleep, weight gain etc. The opportunity emotionally is to be more in touch with your emotions as there are likely more intense emotions happening and you may have more actual time to do so. As you are in touch, make empathy your response, imaging how a close friend would respond to how you are feeling. Spiritually, the opportunity is not only more time for prayer, but using teachings like “One Day at a Time” from the 12-step community is a powerful if not necessary practice with the uncertainty of COVID-19. For today, just do today. Do tomorrow….tomorrow. For some of us, living life one day at a time is the inner peace we have been seeking as we discover our inner resilience that is there in future moments of difficulty.
Lastly, let’s focus on the relational opportunities as part of answering the second question.
Often, when we are stressed, we fall back in relating to others in less than ideal ways. Here are my top 3 relationship practices for maintaining healthy relationships:
- Regulate your anger by taking a time out if you feel triggered. It is critical to wait until your brain and emotions have quieted before engaging with the other person. If you don’t have self-soothing practices, this is a great time to begin to develop one.
- When communicating your perspective, use “I” statements and check out your projections before you make any assumptions. So often we do not have all of the information, and when we ask rather than assume, it helps the other person feel less defensive.
- Stay current and don’t let things build up, including the little things. It is very helpful within our relationships, not only a romantic one, to have a check in once a week or so to share what we are thankful for as well as to clear the air.
Be well, safe and kind,
Katherine