It has been a while since I have posted and I am hoping you are safe and well. Welcome also to those who are new to Harbor Glow Holistic! We are dedicated to promoting wellness and wakefulness in hopes that you feel better informed, more inspired and know that you are not alone in the intention of living wakefully. In keeping with that tradition, I will share a few thoughts on the idea of “tribe” as well as offer an update and links to podcasts and my book.
While being part of a community such as this can be a powerful thing, for many of us, it is not the same as having a tribe, though we can think or expect it to be so. I see tribe as the circle of friends and family that we lean into, in good times and in the darkest moments of our life. A place that undoes our aloneness, where we can experience a sense of belonging and where we can do our best accountability work. Our tribe offers the experience of being fully seen….not needing to perform or hide parts of ourselves. For some of us, our tribe reflects the diversity that is life, not only in skin color and life experience but in worldview and in core values. Ultimately, having a tribe is to be living as we were intended to live; deeply and meaningfully connected to others as we navigate the waters of our own life.
And while all of this might sound great, it is not easy. Creating and sustaining one’s tribe can be a hard path to follow. Hardship that potentially arises from the very diversity that you and I might cherish or hardship in the form of getting hurt by or hurting someone we love. So the question becomes, how do we stay with and stay in our tribe?
I don’t have easy answers here nor do I think there are easy answers. But I believe strongly that it is worth the effort. Getting through and to the other side of difficulty in our relationships is one of the most rewarding experiences of life. Below are a few ideas and practices to help….
- See complexity vs. oversimplifying: Remember that each of us and each member of our tribe is unique, complex, and many things…therefore you and I cannot be defined by one thing; one opinion, one incident, one personality trait, one pattern, one vote. When we see the whole of each other and find the innate connections that exist in our shared humanity, differences shrink and the eyes of judgment begin to soften.
- Keep assumptions in check: When we stop experiencing others through the lens of our inaccurate projections, we prevent injuries that are caused not by those in our tribe but rather by the stories in our mind.
- Picture hardship as an opportunity for growth and expansion: Here are a few examples: The hardship of physical or emotional distance (hopefully only temporarily) that translates into a discovery that the distance was a catalyst for changes that needed to happen. Or the hardship involved in accepting rather than bridging differences, like in styles of communication or even core values, and realizing that in doing so, we see that the acceptance work to do is within and about ourselves. Or the hardship of being patient with the imperfections of someone in your tribe only to discover that they are actually being patient with you!
- Build a foundation: If we can integrate ideas and practices such as these, the result is not only better staying power in our tribe but a deeper connection to one another as co-travelers in life. And when the hardest of hardship shows up, such as when we are harmed or have harmed someone we love, we have set the stage for healing and repair.
I want to share with you a powerful story that illuminates what showing up when it gets really tough can look like. This is an example of the heart-wrenching hardship of staying with a loved one when they no longer know who we are and when doing so is painful. It’s called “So Nice to Hear Your Voice” and you can check it out here.
I am excited to announce that for fully vaccinated people, I am now back to offering in person sessions. For those who are not, I still have teletherapy as an option. It has been delightful to meet in person those I have only seen over zoom as well as to welcome back others that I have not had the gift of sitting with since COVID-19 hit.
If you enjoy listening to podcasts, here are a couple of recent ones I participated in. I continue to be so grateful for the opportunity to have dynamic and powerful conversations such as these around living our most conscious life.
Finally, here is where you can find my book, River to Ocean: Living in the Flow of Wakefulness on my website or you can find it online through Amazon here, available in print, e-book or audiobook. I encourage you to experience it yourself if you haven’t already and/or share it with others.
With love and gratitude for this community,
~Katherine